I’ve been home for over a week now, but it still feels a little strange. Sure, this is “home” – the place I where I grew up, where I made my first friends, where I had my first kiss and where I read my first books. A place of great firsts and bad lasts. But it’s also a place of disconnect.
Right now I feel stuck in between. I am looking for a new job, a new place to live and new routines. I am a little bored, to tell you the truth. I miss my friends in Oregon. I miss the sporadic lunches, impromtu wine dates, impulsive shopping trips and the sound of the doorbell.
A lot has changed over the past few years (naturally). I’ve changed, and I am not talking about the added 20 pounds. My hair is shorter, I am a little bit wiser but mostly I am more aware of myself and my identity. I’m a thousand faces richer, a thousand places more experienced. I’ve learned a lot and failed a lot. I may not yet know what I want, but I definitely know what I don’t want. I don’t want to work at a factory, I don’t want kids, I don’t want to be just like everyone elsem, and I certainly don’t want to settle down…yet.
There is still so much to discover. There are still so many things that I want to do.
I’m changed, but I am still me. I feel the contrasts are bigger this time around.