Monthly Archives: November 2011

My name is Annie, and I am EASILY ANNOYED

OK, I admit it. There should be a support group for folks like us. People that are just easily annoyed. We’re talking rapid heart beat, cold sweat, tension and difficulty breathing. But you know what, it’s not me, it’s you.

This is why I am pissed…

1) Don’t use your cellphone at all times. Do not, I repeat, do NOT keep loud and lengthy convos on a bus or a train. I don’t want to hear it, I want you to shut the hell up.

2) Don’t stop when you get off the escalator. How effing hard is it to keep moving? You are not the only one there, we are a dozen behind you.

3) Don’t assume that I ever sit in a bar just waiting for you to come talk to me. I am probably in line waiting to get a drink or waiting for my hubby or friends. Unless I know you, don’t flatter yourself. I am not that nice.

4) Don’t use three exclamation marks when posting your status on FB or Twitter. It is annoying!!! You are screaming!!! We don’t care!!!

5) SAME GOES FOR ALL CAPS!!!

6) Don’t tweak, burp, snore, make weird noises or breathe heavily in my presence. In fact, don’t move at all. Just pretend to be a mummy.

7) Don’t abuse my tax money by being too lazy for a job. We all have hard times, but the world goes a-spinning nonetheless. Get out and do something. And by all means, don’t brag about your non-accomplishment.

8) Don’t slap my ass. I wear stilettos and I have a mean kick.

9) If you are obese, don’t walk next to your obese friend on the sidewalk. You are blocking my route.

10) Don’t preach to me about Jesus or Allah or anything religious. You are probably a hypocrite.

11) Don’t ask me for money. I will spit in your cup.

12) Actually most Facebook-statuses annoy me… They’re the incarnations of people’s stupidity. Really? You ate THAT for dinner? Oh, golly. Also, dumb elaborations about random cases in long sentences that end with demands you copy and paste it into YOUR status. Fuck that. I don’t even like my own status updates.

13) People that go through IV-treatments. Talk about egotism. How about adopting instead? This planet is way too overcrowded.’

14) Small talk about the weather. Yawwwwwn.

15) People that crowd my space. You know, the ones that lean into you in lines or breathe heavily down your neck. Ew.

16) Snobs.

17) Beards, dreads and stashes. And BO! Ew.

18) People who post hunting pics of themselves on facebook. Ya know, the kind where the proud “hunter” poses with a dead animal. Whoa, what an accomplishment. You have a gun, the animal doesn’t. Get a grip on yourself and do something useful instead of acting and looking like a teabagged moron.

19) Americans who think the world evolves around the US. World series? Baseball? Hey, reality check. The US is NOT the entire world. And freedom? You have none. Do something controversial, you get sued. Gays can’t marry, and abortion is tabu. You’re being brainwashed with jingoism and if you ever questions anything about your manifest destiny, you’re labelled an “Anti-American.” You’re being numbed to not think. China owns you and if you get sick, you’re screwed.  Your liberty is stripped before your eyes.

20) Dumb people. I try to ignore them, but I can’t.

21) Complainers. Myself included.

22) Dumb Americans that feed their kids fast food and soda and donuts so they become obese, and then they have to be on Dr. Phil to be convinced that fast food does not a healthy child make. (Insert profanity here)

23) This digsusting habit.

24) If you can’t laugh at yourself or appreciate irony, don’t bother reading my blog.

Rant over 🙂

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Bunny!

My GTFF/GFF (Graduate teaching fellow forever/Girlfriend forever) sent me this gorgeous bunny in the mail. He was rolled up in a tube and smelled freshly of paint when he got here. I love him! Ally owns her own gallery in New Orleans, and she creates the most spectacular and colorful paintings. Check them out here.

 

The fabulous Ally

Panic Open String (song)

This week’s Music Monday is a song that brings back a lot of memories. Jamie and I use to sing it a lot during our first months of dating…. ❤

 

Apparitions (song)

Currently LOVING this song by danish group The Raveonettes. I wish they could play here in Bergen soon!

 

Time flies….

Hello there. Wow. Time sure is going by fast. I feel like a really bad blogger, but honestly – I don’t have time to even formulate sentences in my head. The days are packed with work and school and other activities. Before things got REALLY busy, however, Jamie and I went on a little vacay at my parents’ place in Sykkylven. Nothing relaxes me more than being in the house, looking at the mountains and just taking in the soothing feeling of serenity. A bonus: two purring cats that love to snuggle. My parents are the perfect hosts. My mom cooks and my dad keeps Jamie busy with work around the house so I can read. I love it!

We also got to catch up with other family members and friends. The bus ride back to Bergen along narrow roads, with limited AC, numerous stops at deserted places and about a hundred tunnels is definitely worth it.

But I keep rambling here. The day after I got back, my friends and I gathered for “julebord” – Norwegian for Christmas party. We met at a restaurant where some of us had the traditional Norwegian Xmas dinner; lamb! Yumm! After the feast we went to Anja’s place for “gløgg” – another traditional thing – a drinkmix containing glogg, red wine and raisins/nuts. We had a FAB time as always.

BFFs!

Gorgeous model/journalist/fashionista Anette

Mmmmm.... pinnekjøtt!

The crew

 

Xmas tree cake!

Dear Santa…

I’m not really that into materialism. Really. If you’ve ever been to my place, you’ll know. I prefer quirky things with personality rather than a spanking new designer item. But there is always something I crave, whether it be food, drinks, time with friends or fabulous purse. I am a girl, after all! But to be serious, what I wish more than anything else as a gift is a donation to the nearest humane society where YOU are. If just anyone could to a little thing to help our furry friends nothing would make me happier.

With that being said, AND in fear of contradicting myself (yet there is nothing wrong with dreaming), here is a little collection of items I dream of….

Warehouse Ostrich bag

 Bag from Asos, order here.

Buckle Satchel

 Also from Asos.

Kitchen Aid awesomeness!

 Want to buy it? Available here 🙂

REN Morrocan Rose Otto Bath Oil

So juicy!

 Juicy Couture Viva la Juicy necklace with solid perfume. Love! Available at Kicks and Esthetique (I think).

Purple pillow from Kremmerhuset.

Five frame cluster, also from Kremmerhuset.

Purple Waterlillies earbling from Epla.

Sisley Black Rose Cream Mask…ahhh….

The following books:

1) Politics and Vision: Continuity and Innovation in Western Political Thought by Sheldon S. Wolin

2) Hopes and Prospects by Noam Chomsky

3) This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald

4) At Home: A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson

5) Mentor: A Memoir by Tom Grimes

All of these available at Amazon.

Dresses!

Since I couldn’t get the only Versace for H&M dress I wanted, I caved in and opted for a cheaper alternative from fab Asos. Actually, I got two dresses, so sue me. They are currently on their way from the UK to my door as we speak. Asos has free worldwide shipping. Gotta love that!

These are the ones that will grace my frame (hopefully a few pounds lighter soon) this holiday season.