Sometimes I wish I could tune out my own head and my own stream of endless thoughts. Doubt, regret, hope, joy, confusion…. they’re all inside me at any given time. My main source of concern these days is – WHAT TO DO? Do we stay here in the US and go through my Green Card application again, or do we go back to Norway where Jamie has an approved visa waiting for him? What do we spend money on? Immigration fees or plane tickets? Jamie’s visa is only valid for a year, and I would need to get a permanent job with a solid income in order to keep him there with me, and I can’t see any jobs there right now that I would want. Honestly, I don’t. Over here, I feel there are TONS of options. But, and there is always a but, I need the papers first. I want to be close to my family as we are all getting older. I don’t want to miss out on anything. I want to be there and see the kids grow up. I miss my friends. But at the same time, I know we will settle there one day. And there is also so much left here undiscovered. I long for a new adventure and I want to move to another city to pursue my dreams.
Words of advice greatly appreciated.